Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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