opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
