Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
