When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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