Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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