I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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