You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
