First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
