its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
