You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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