I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
