oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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