Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize