Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
