There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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