My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
