his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
