I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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