so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
