trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
