i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
