Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
