i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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