Yo dont text me then not text me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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