I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
