I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
