You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
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Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
