the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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