She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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