im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize