This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
