it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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