there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
