This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
