i just google imaged poop.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
