when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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