Nicole vs. Life
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
