Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
