My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
