At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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