i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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