do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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