He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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