I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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