he puts the penis in happiness.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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