i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize