After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
