He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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