thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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