Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
