i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
