Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize