he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
