I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize