Duck Duck Cougar?
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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