Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So here I am, sexting at work.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
