I look better un-naked...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dignity is for republicans.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
