haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had to cum in my sink.
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