I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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