I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
