I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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