I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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