my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
