I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
one might say we're banned from that church
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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