I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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