she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
