It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
