When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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