I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just pee around me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
